**I can't wait till Christmas so I can get my new deck of Uno cards!! -Jake B.
**It's not too late...unless you fall off a mountain and get impaled over a pine tree....then it's too late. -Josh
**I was contemplating alientating the younger demographic by annihilating the quadratic formula...but then, wouldn't the Universes's protonic psychosimethanes do--and about then, my brain caught fire. No more big words. -Tyler
**You can own me, but you can't own digital lights and sounds. -Jake B.
**I'd lay my head down in exasperation now, but there's a bean in the way. So, this task is quite impossible. -Josh
**Have Christmas at Logan's? No thanks...the cowboys would eat me. -Josh
**Over the course of five years I will slowly destroy this peanute. Meanwhile the world will go through many changes: trees growing, shifting of tectonic plates, and Revered Sharpton becoming the president...These will be chaotic times indeed. -Josh
**Blow dart guns giving out magical euphorias inspire me to fluff the pillows. -Josh
**Every time you open up a barrel full o' monkeys, one more Australian suffers from the bubonic plague. So think next time before you do anything rash! -Josh
**I'm gonna go play Wheel of Fortune now, but before I do....*glances maniacly at my fingernails* I'm gonna get me somethign to eat.....Mmmhmm... -Josh
**(Old-school knowledge While watching F. Scott F. video) Do yo'll know what those are? ...They're records. -Mrs. COOK
**(Transformer Lore)...And he would like click himself...then a bird would fly out of his chest. -Jon Jon
**When removing the pretty snowmen from their convenient corresponding sheets, be sure the vampire pomeranians don't latch onto an extremity. This is a basic rule of the trade...and that's pretty much turning a frown upside down. -Tyler
**Gazing at the sun, a great Incan Rhinocerous Elemental appeared before me with a loud, resounding crack. It spoke eight words: "Therefore Chinese rappers are better than Argentinian heritage." ...I have never been the same since. -Josh
**The One Ring To Rule Them All should not, under any circumstances, be worn on the toes. Especially the pinky toes. This only provokes daemon imp chases of all sorts. -Tyler
**Honest Mr. Wagner! I ran as fast as I could trying to protect the Magical/Glowing/Amazing/(Other Really Nice Adjectives), Scepter of Sponge, but Danny the Dasterdly impaled me with a fish. So it's not my fault!! -Josh
**As the deer pants for the water, so the Soviet Prime Minister accomplishes deeds such as creating never ending breakfast products, rolling down hills coated in barbed-wire, and slicing and dicing every ripe tomatoe within the nearest promiximal vicinity. -Josh
**When the Girl Scouts and SEALS met in the same building, I knew there would be trouble. "The Massacre of 79" could not be described in words. 87 SEALS fell to the lightning precision, tactical genius, and sheer brutality of the little girls. Only five Girl Scouts were killed... -Tyler
**Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy & good with syrup. -Maria
**Ok, I was on this top secret mission to Bornea, right? Well, as the evil genius prepared to assasinate W, I --What? I wasn't on a top secret mission to Bornea? No W? ....Ok, new story. -Tyler
**Hey! That melon is for display purposes only!!! -Pope
**Most people would kill for world domination, infinite riches, things like that...I, however, would settle for one of those nifty herring-watermelon hybrids. Yeah.. -Tyler
**The most effecient way to lure in a battle-hardened cat: pencil shavings. -Josh
**For the same reasons the great heron stalks upon the water with gracefulness, Al Pacino hoards a massive stockpile of eggplants in his secret underground lair." -Josh
**"Excuse me sir, how much does that weigh?" "Barbeque!!" -Tyler
**....She carried her surplus flesh sensuously in a way some women can. -F. Scott Fitzgerald
**Fear not the mighty sasquatch for he would'st be thine cuddle buddy. -Maria
**Dude! That's insane x Ham!! -Tyler
**Argh.....yellow is like....everywhere. -Josh
**Never be afraid to unleash your inner platypus. -Mauria
**Sclerypoodindiddlegeorgedoubleucitosis- A rare condition in Northen Boskovia (a country you haven't heard of) characterized by running adrenal glands, the turning of earlobes to a vibrant mauve colour, and the spontaneous (and quite graphic) exploding of cheeks. This disease is almost never fatal, but it is said to cause such excrutiating torment in its victims that they commit suicide. -Josh
**Never say "parakeet" to a badger. -Caroline
**Rick Springfield is dead. This discourages my self-esteem. -Caroline
**Follow the pickles. They will lead you to safety. -Mauria
**Mmm...Tastes like haggis! -Mauria
**555116 x 167 = 92704372 -Matt
**If Booker couldn't rip me in half, I'd so go up and call him a pansy. -Josh
**...and so I decided to go to German Stiltz (The Festival of Natzis). There I learned that only under the full moon of the stalking Santa could the haunted horse embryo be summoned. The signs of this occurence would include the sporatic appearances of Dick Cheney's Flying Squirrels, and people's retinas spontaenously bursting into flames....Hearing about all that sort of freaked me out. So I just sat back and went to sleep in my swivel chair. -Josh
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