**Whhhyyy is there a monkey on your head? Why!?....What? There isn't a monkey on top of your head?....Ooo. I thought I saw one...Ok, just nevermind then... - Josh
**The sweet serenade of the goat song brought a tear to my eye as I skated on the lake of frozen chocolate venus fly traps. - Tyler
**Soap is suddsy and does not conform well with lactose intollerant peanuts or anything else that has dreams about morbid people performing death-defying, circus-type actions. (You should think about that. I got alot of wisdom from it. - Schuyler and Josh
**Poiboo and shmekupokieduf are the two greatest gifts to mankind there has ever been. - Tyler
**Most zombies are really nice people if you get to know them and keep the mandatory three foot quarantine. - Tyler
**You know what? I like potatoes. I really do. - Josh
**The power to control otters annd howler monkeys = instant world domination. - Tyler
**You might wanna stay away from camoflauged toilets...probably just a good idea to. - Josh
**Light- $1. Army Men- $1. Putting the two together- Priceless. - Tyler
**I was eating dinner yesterday when, all the sudden, my fork launched istelf from the table and began to attack me!!!!! I fought with all of my strength, but the fork's prowess in kung fu dwarfed mine! Defeated, I had to flee for my life. So I grabbed the nearest chandelier to do one of those "swingy, I get away" deals..but the the chandelier fell from the roof ontop of my only ally's, the butter-knife, head. Hoping to still prevail I tried throwing zuchinni at the rampaging beast of horrible evil silverware-ness...It was not daunted by my attacks. However, there was a small glimmer of hope! A spotted-butterfly was perched on the window sil (the ones that are supposed to scare enemies off by the giant spots on their wings that are supposed look like really intimidating eyes). I frantically grabbed the butterfly and stuck it to my face like a mask! The fork, scared half to death, ran screaming in circles around then room until it ran straight into a filing cabinet and killed itself! Then the butterfly beat me up............And that, my friends, is the story of why I had to get braces. - Josh
**In a distant year, an alternate universe will appear and nothing will happen. - Shane
**In a time long lost in the past, the midgets and Luke Skywalker could run and frolick together in the fields of happiness. But then came the Times of the Poultry...God rest their souls... - Tyler
**Clothes baskets have the tendency to remain motionless for long periods of time...Don't let that get to you. - Josh
**And the chicken said to the taco: "Let there be erasers." - Shane
**Dance Dance Revlolution will devour your soul. - Josh
**The rebellion of corn proceeded to club Zazibar to a pulp for his heinous crimes against the pumpkin sandwhich heirarchy. - Tyler
** Sheep go scuba hunting when hannah transfers her shoes unto thy very scary microwave that eats bacon strips while you pick bagels from underneath your couch. Lollipops, however, eat the sheep if your boogers are green. - Hannah and Josh
**If you think about it right, Martin Luther King Day is always the next holiday. - Josh
**The first thing you need to do when using an electric floor buffer is to plug it in. Failing to do so correctly can result in costly accidents. - Josh
**If you have all of it done and feel the need, please place your practice problem notebooks in the basket as we stand and sing. An elder will come to assist you. - Josh
**I have an important discovery I want to share with you....but first...I must go eat cookies. - Josh
**Hey look, the chile peppers have little hats and gloves. - Shane
**The most durable material on Earth? The lens inside of a sheep's eyeball. Trust me. It's indestructible. - Josh
**Once upon a time, in an invisible toadstool somewhere close to your house, there lived an old gnome. This, however, was no ordinary gnome. This gnome wore green socks and was omnipotent. The End. - Josh
**Super apple will own your life and drive you to unspeakable deeds. - Tyler
**The church is like one..giant...bread blob...but then again, if we were all leaven...then, well that'd just be alot of bread. - Caroline
**It's really hard to point crosses at imaginary objects. - Josh
**DON'T trust the oatmeal with the chocolate chips! Don't! The chocolate chips are just there to lure you in....you think "O, it has chocolate chips in it. Therefore, it must be good." But then you eat it and....AGHHH!!! IT lies! And after you ate it, the little evil microrganisms that live inside it get inside you and take over your brain! Some people say they have "fun" eating oatmeal...these people are obviously under the influence of some mind controlling device. HEED MY WARNING!!! - Josh
**An ogre is eating Kyle's foot!! - Tyler
**With Santa at tight end and Jesus as quarterback, no one can touch us. - Tyler
**Summer makes my all silverware happy. - Josh
**Yay to rubber bands in general. - Hannah
**I will forever honor the almighty sovereign rainbow bow that is attatched to my arm. It's name is The Beautiful-ness. - Josh
**Neva Eva + the Kings = mayhem. - Tyler
**I don't know what's going on, but I need a paper towel. - Michael
**Call me squishy, call me a pancake, call me maroon. Either way I have red hair. - Josh
**When you look through an anime kaleidoscope at around 1:00 in the morning, boxes of coke begin to look like Darth Vader. - Josh
**Magic monkeys make martyrs marry merciful maroon maple monsoons. Meanwhile, masterful mooses march merrily. - Josh
**No matter how much you want to, how many times they tell you to, and how much the voice inside your head whispers to you, don't, I repeat-don't, I repeat once again-don't, stick your hand in a meat grinder. - Josh
**The best compliment EVER- Your eyes are like the Milky Way Galaxy because...I can't see past them. - Michael
**Multi-headed woodland creatures are rarely a sign of good cheer. - Tyler
**You eat breakfast at Waffle House, lunch at Burger King, and a little bit of breakfast at Cracker Barrel. Why do we do this?...I don't know...but I'm sure it's the government's fault. - Josh
**If my name was Leothrose the Leotard, I would be the emporer of the world...but it's not...so I'm just gonna sit here and eat my bagel. - Josh
**Scratch and sniff stickers that smell like cinamon are not tastilicious. They're also poisonous...I just ate one. - Daaaaaviiiiddd Ruuuuuh
**The deepest converstaion you'll ever hear:
Michael: "Guys, Jesus is giving me a thumbs up."
Josh: "Hahaha....Are you serious?"
Michael: "Noooo...."
Tyler: "Yessss...."
Michael: "...Your silly..."
Josh: "No...Jesus is being silly."
**The second deepest conversation you'll ever hear:
Michael: "I'm going to dream about that hot girl..."
Tyler: "What hot girl?"
Michael: "The girl driving the civic...I don't know her name, but I'll call her jewel, 'cause she's precious to me."
Tyler: (sigh)
**No need to worry today...I picked up Matt Tracey AND I'm wearing my lucky Incan warchief bling...we're gonna own. - Josh
**I can't wait until Christmas When I get my new deck of uno cards!! - Jake B.
**I'm glad I'm not an orange. - Josh
**The dying crying of an acne infected teenager- "All I ever wanted to do was to eat sugary sweets without consequences!!" - Josh
**Swoosh and pineapples remind me of emus after they've eaten their fill of grain. - Josh
**You do not wish to know what lies in the realm of the beyond...Ok, I'll tell you anyways. In the realm of the beyond, there are things that are decidedly non-warm and fuzzy--like those spikey demon armadillos and their evil kin. - Tyler
**There'a limit to how many santa hats you can shove inside you mouth before you die...and it's a small one....really small. - Josh
**...I'm beginning to think my neighbor's horses are communists... - Josh
**Being stressed makes me not so stressed about being stressed. - Hannah
**Mildy drawn animated characters that weild duel pistols, have mad skills, chase after clowns, sheriffs, and marshamellows...well, they just own. No doubt about it. - Josh
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