**A bag of safari ears will rarely eat giraffes. - Tyler
**Walking burns pillow hair. - Tyler
**Christmas lights are the scourge of eskimos. - Josh
**Wigs disentegrate in the harsh heat of Mercury. - Josh
**As the fan turns, the flies learn. - Josh
**Two birds in an omlet are worth three in a rock. - Tyler
**Flies prefer pink to macaroni and cheese. - Tyler
**Is it just me, or does "Oops!" sound like the dying cry of a generic Peruvian mammal? - Tyler
**The hot air balloons don't like you. Trust me. - Josh
**Barbecued chicken is very unhealthy for the chicken. - Josh
**Have you ever thought about how many frogs were squished by 18-wheelers in Frogger? Isn't that inhumane?! - Josh
**Don't stab people with remotes. - Duncan
**A sphere is not a cube unless it is a manequin made of paper mache. - Tyler
**On the first day of Christmas, I was shot 30 times in the chest, rolled down a hill into a muddy swamp, and was attacked by a wild, roaming gang of gangster badgers. They took my wallet to. - Tyler
**Fence-apples don't party Jengadays, only weekmiddles. - Tyler
**Acid reflux disease is good to have on Wednesdays, but not in Decebuary. - Josh & Tyler
**How in the world do they make the hole inside dougnuts such a perfect circle?! That drives me crazy... - Josh
**Yesterday is always the day-before yesterday's tomorrow. - Josh
**If you ever become an evil madman with a maniacle laugh, don't gloat or ask the hero if he has any dying wishes. Just don't - Josh
**Nothing tastes like chicken, not even chicken itself. Taste is only an illusion. - Josh
**If you see someone with pink hair, a unibrow, a peg leg, and a hook for a hand, just forget about your jelly doughnut. - Chicken-Ish
**Three Afghans in a Sycamore tree in a tropical storm...think about it. - Duncan
**Never trust a Buddhist with two fingers and a weapon of mass destruction. They're the tricky ones. - Tyler
**How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? Do you want to ride a bike? - Tyler
**When I get a football and a soccer ball to mate, I will use the resulting horde of foocers to swiftly control the world. Just wait, you'll see. - Tyler
**If you were a chicken, would you cross the road? - Josh
**Thousands of germs die each day! We should really do something about that! - Josh
**The true mistery of the ages is- Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets? - Josh
**If oranges are called oranges, why aren't cherries called reds? - Korea
**Jesus says to fish for men...Men say to fish for women...I don't have to fish for women. They just jump in the boat. - Bert Gilligan
**If there were no students, would there be any need for teachers? - The White Russian
**Does your spleen hurt? Having trouble getting the lymphocytes into your blood that your body so needs? Then try Keen Spleens from the makers of Fun With Organs!! Keen Spleens will restore the your spleen back to it's proper functioning order, and your spleen will dance for joy inside of you for only a low low cost of $0.53! (Keen Spleens is not responsible for any loss of personal possesions, death, fatal diseases, alien abduction, unsightly wart growths, malignat tumors, color changes of the sking, or embarrassing build-ups of gas in the lower intestine. Contact local poison control center if used.) - Josh
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